Changes.

Its been over a month since I last posted a single thing. Wow. To begin with, sorry? School ended, and the weeks leading up to its end left me manic and frenzied. I figured once that was through, I would have a serene summer, working and making dreams happen. Life had other plans. Every sector of my life is dancing into unknown realms, taking on new guises, and surprising me in every possible way. Social circles have collapsed, new bonds have been born, and stability is obsolete. I'm moving. The home I have known and loved for nearly the past four years is no longer mine. Throughout those four years, I learned a tremendous amount about myself, my life, and those in it. They were defining years, and it all occurred between those mystical stone walls. Nearly everything that could change within those four years did, but what always remained was my sanctuary. No matter what happened, I could always nestle in my satin sheets, gaze up at the colorful faces I had artfully pasted upon my walls, open my vast windows wide, and have an endless stream of characters bubbling in and out. It was the only thing that never changed, yet now it has. Sometimes I thought I wanted nothing more than to leave that place, other times I deemed it magical - but to be completely uprooted, even with bouts of fair warning, left me shocked and aimless. I wanted changes this summer, but these were changes I felt were perhaps too strong for me to bare. This was not what I had in mind. I'm fine, I personally am alright - but life apparently didn't get the memo that I like to keep things relatively peaceful. I had one great, beauteous cry. I took in everything that I loved about the last four years, mourned it, appreciated it, accepted it, and from there, realized I had to keep moving. So the last few weeks have been spent embracing the chaos, finding fun and excitement in new places, and generally ignoring my stability void, for it will eventually be filled. I just have to make it through this transition period. My summer hasn't been too shabby. Spending hours at the pool with people I love, having wild nights that last until sunrise, conversations that last from sunrise until noon, blowing bubbles, opening up, leaving my shell because I have to. All of this was just completely unforeseen, it wasn't according to plan. That's what rattled me most. All of this crept up on me. I wish I had just chosen all of this, and been able to twirl into my comfort zone after all that divine madness, by choice. But I enjoyed it all, and I know that all of this change happened for a reason. What follows will be nothing but positivity. Things can only grow more stable. Good things will fall into place. This is only reaffirmed by the strength to carry on, make it through rough patches, and come out smiling. This is what I have to do it and it will all work out. I just have to hold on through the madness, as if I planned it that way, and know that all that I wish for awaits me. So, uh, yeah... That's why I haven't been a frequent blogger, that's why I haven't checked my email, that's why I haven't even being on Facebook. And yet, its good to act like Facebook doesn't exist, its exhilarating to say "Fuck you, Gmail!", even when its not planned. This is all teaching me to roll with the punches, something that I don't always necessarily excel at. Anyway, what the hell have I been listening to?!

Listening: The laptop that my iPod is synced to is packed away, so new music is non-existent. I've been rocking Pandora occasionally, but mostly, I've been rediscovering gems in my iPod and rummaging through my record collection. Beggars Banquet by the Stones, Carney by Leon Russell (a wild and captivating record - listen to it!), Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel, and The Cars are all fun summer records. Neil Young's Harvest changed the way I look at summer, and made for some magical mornings. The last days that I spent in my lair were spent listening to Harvest, that I will never forget. Making memories until the last moment. The Greatest Hits version of "Homeward Bound" and "Feelin' Groovy" leave me endlessly elated, and "Old Friends/Bookends" (on 45! b/w "Mrs. Robinson") is magical and inspiring. In short, Simon and Garfunkel is fantastic summer listening. I listened to "Old Friends" as I removed photographs from my wall, and it was all so poignant, and nearly left me in tears. It wasn't sappy or upsetting, it was beautifully melancholy, and it was the perfect way to conclude it all. I also thoroughly enjoy my Zombies' "Tell Her No" single (b/w "She's Not There") , which is pretty splendid and makes each moment experienced to it rather radiant. The best of all is definitely "Poision Ivy" by the Coasters, I like to sing the chorus and swivel my hips. I also bought London Calling on vinyl, FINALLY! It only garnered a spin or two, before it had to be packed, but I am over the moon that it is now in my possession. I'm a little shocked that its not a gatefold; aren't double albums always gatefolds? I also bought Poco's Pickin' Up the Pieces, George Harrison's Concert for Bangladesh, and The Band's Rock of Ages on vinyl this weekend. They won't receive any turntable love until my boxes are unpacked, but I'm pretty gratified that they were no more than $2 each.