Muppet Halloween Costume Spooktacular 2010, Part 2

Ryan Dosier - It's almost Halloween, Muppet fans! Do you have your candy and your Bean Bunny costume ready to go? Did you finally convince your wife to go as Spamella/your husband to go as a Pa and Ma Gorg couple? ...Good luck with either of those things.

Today we return with another review of some more hideous Muppet-related costumes! This time we look at the new Fraggle Rock costumes that were, shockingly, approved and released by The Jim Henson Company. I'm sure the suspense is killing you... which is awesome, because I could use an army of zombies for Halloween this year.

Anyway... here are the "Fraggle" (you'll see why I used the parentheses in a second) costumes.

GOBO FRAGGLE COSTUME - $110

LIKENESS - It's everyone's favorite Fraggle: Hobo! (Not a typo.) Good grief, what the WHAT?! I don't even know where to begin... for starters, $110 for this? Really? Really? I'd be extremely interested to know how many of these get sold. What is that hair made of? Cheerleader pom-poms? Did Gobo mug a cheerleader when he entered male pattern baldness--which he obviously inherited from Uncle Traveling Matt? Hmm... I smell a fan-fic! 2 STARS
FUN FACTOR - At this point I'd like to measure Fun Factor against Price... just to make it clear that it's highly difficult to have enough fun with this costume to make it worth $110. In fact, I would argue that staging a live-action remake of a Fraggle Rock episode would be one of the only ways to have $110 worth of fun with this costume. 2 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - Well... I'm certainly freaked out. No amount of dancing my cares away could save this worry for another day. This looks like something that would be hanging in the Gorgs' pantry in the Henson Haunted House. I really think it's the head that scares the most on this thing... there's just so much wrong with it. 4 STARS

RED FRAGGLE COSTUME - $110 (now $59.99)

LIKENESS - Yay! It's everybody's favorite Fraggle Rock character, Red Platypus! Don't you just loved her webbed feet and her off-colored skin-tight legging legs? My favorite Red Platypus aspect is the bulky orange short shorts. Remember her trademark purple hair ribbons and her "AHHHH!!! A dingo!!" facial and body expression? Ah, such fond memories... (By the way, who knew Red had such a curvaceous mid-section?) 2 STARS
FUN FACTOR - No one who shows up to a highly populated Halloween party wearing this is going to have fun. Imagine everyone tugging your tail and your pigtails and laughing at your horribly disfigured head and pointing out that your wearing this is probably single-handedly delaying production on the Fraggle Rock Movie. (Kudos to said makers of fun if they've actually heard of the Fraggle Rock Movie.) 2 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - If this doesn't say "run and hide," I don't know what would. Well... maybe ToughPigs' Joe Hennes wearing this--that would certainly say "run and hide." (Woot! I've made fun of Joe twice this week. Three more times and I get a free sub-sandwich at any participating Quiznos.) 4 STARS

WEMBLEY FRAGGLE COSTUME - $110 (now $59.99)

LIKENESS - Oh no!! Oh no, no, no! It's happened! Someone has poisoned the Fraggle Rock water supply! Look what they've done to poor, poor Wembley!! Oh gosh, it's gotten so bad that his brains have literally exploded out of his head. Worst. Halloween. Special. EVER. I like the banana tree shirt though--I'd like to just own that. 1 STAR
FUN FACTOR - Not even Wembley would wemble about whether or not this thing is fun to wear. What on earth might compel someone to put this on and go out in public? Certainly not a fan of Wembley--because they'd be disgracing themselves. I'm trying to come up with some sort of creature to compare this heap to... but I've got absolutely nothing. It's a brand new homunculus mass of bad designing. 2 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - Fraggle Zombies are always scary--and Wembley Fraggle Zombie is the scariest of them all. This wins the Scare Factor award for the 2010 Muppet Halloween Costume season... Poor Wembley. The one time he wins... 5 STARS

MOKEY FRAGGLE COSTUME - $110 (now $59.99)

LIKENESS - This must be Mokey... the only time she gets merchandise is when it's absolutely hideous. Mokey looks like that blue haired great aunt that your parents always invite to your birthdays that gives you a check for ten dollars then steals all of your Fig Newtons and smells like cats. ...Psychotherapy, here I come! What on earth were they thinking when they saw this costume's head? "Oh, yes, delightful. My favorite character from Farggle Lock, Monkey!" 1 STAR
FUN FACTOR - Mokey's idea of fun is writing bad poetry... imagine all the awful poetry you could write about this thing. Here's a sample--run with it. "There once was a costume of Mokey/That made me want to choke-y/Her head gave me nightmares/I want to maul it with bears/And put it out of its misery." 1 STAR
SCARE FACTOR - The aunt image I put in my head in the Likeness section has freaked me out enough already. But I dare you to try to go to sleep while thinking about this costume's head portion. And you thought Freddy Krueger was scary! 4 STARS

Well... there you have it, Muppet fans. Sorry to spoil any ideas you ever had about how awesome Fraggle costumes could be... because as these have certainly proved, it's a lot easier to imagine than to actually create. Yeesh. Until next year... this has been The Muppet Mindset's Muppet Halloween Costume Spooktacular!

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier

Muppet Halloween Costume Spooktacular 2010, Part 1

Ryan Dosier - Greetings, Muppet fans! It's that time of year again--Halloween is coming, and coming fast. Yes, it's time for dentists to break out the new drills and put a down-payment on that brand new yacht, time for girls to wear an outfit in public that consists of less than they wear to bed, and time for small children to dress up as their favorite cartoons, super heroes, and teenage pop stars!

But what is an adult Muppet fan like you (or I) to do at this festive time of year when everywhere we see Darth Vader costumes or his-and-her electrical outlet and plug costumes? How do we, the Muppet fans, show our love for Muppets, Sesame Street, and Fraggle Rock on Halloween? Well, lucky for you, we here at The Muppet Mindset have a look into some of the new, official Muppet costumes available through Sesame Workshop and The Jim Henson Company this year.

As you surely recall, last year we featured a similar two-part series of articles looking at the Muppet costumes from The Muppets Studio and the Sesame Street costumes from Sesame Workshop. These costumes were ranked in three categories: Character Likeness, Fun Factor, and Scare Factor. Each factor will receive a rating of up to five stars to help you determine whether it's worth your purchasing.

Today we're looking at costumes from Sesame Workshop as we see their attempts to appeal to college-aged girls (which is exactly who I'm trying to appeal to). Let's get started, shall we?

SEXY COOKIE MONSTER COSTUME - $50.00

LIKENESS - Ah, yes, everyone's favorite Sesame Street character: Sexy Cookie Monster. Riddle me this, Sesame Workshop, what on earth makes a preschool character with googly eyes who spends all of his time eating sexy? I mean, besides the girl in the costume... But honestly, is it really a good idea to produce costumes of your characters that encourage girls to dress like this? Isn't that kind of the opposite of your curriculum? Just wondering. Get back to me on that. The worst part is, it looks nothing like Cookie Monster! Kudos on the cookie-shaped belt buckle, though. 1 STAR
FUN FACTOR - I guess this depends on what sort of fun you want to have. 3 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - The only thing scary about this costume, to me, is the fact that someone at Sesame Workshop approved this and thought it was a good idea. "Yes, yes! Let's whore out our beloved children's characters for 'sexy' costumes. What could parent groups possibly have against that?" However, there is nothing scary about the girl within the costume. Call me, Sexy Cookie Monster girl! 3 STARS

SEXY ELMO COSTUME - $39.99

LIKENESS - Umm... likeness of what? Elmo? A girl wrapped in a red towel and wearing red stockings? Someone with an Elmo-looking alien eating through their skull from the inside out? Honestly... with the right amount of orange ribbon and a fluffy enough red towel, you could probably make this costume for about $10. Incidentally, about $10 is probably all this girl plans to spend on Halloween--guys like me will be buying her all the drinks she wants. 1 STAR
FUN FACTOR - Who wouldn't want to tickle that Elmo? 3 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - Once again... frightening that this was allowed to happen, but I certainly wouldn't mind being in Elmo's World for awhile. And really, there are so many other sexy Sesame costumes they would be much scarier to parental groups... 2 STARS

SEXY BIG BIRD COSTUME - $39.99

LIKENESS - Well... it is feathery... sort of. And I rather like what they did with the legs--they should've done that for the adult Big Bird Costume from last year! I cant' see the weird Big Bird thing on her head... but I just have to assume that it doesn't look anything like Big Bird. However... it's a cute blonde in a Big Bird costume. Isn't that the dream, fellas? 2 STARS
FUN FACTOR - Just tune me out for a minute here, ladies... Think of the possibilities, guys! She goes as Big Bird, you go as Snuffy--"Don't worry baby, I'm not imaginary." So many great pick up lines too... "Hey, can I buy you a bird seed milkshake?" "What say you and me go say the Alphabet later? Maybe we can put U and I together." ...And I wonder why I can't pick up girls. Okay girls, you're welcome to tune in again. 4 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - Big Bird... the face of Sesame Street for 41 years... reduced to a cute blonde girl in a frilly yellow towel with orange and pink striped leggings. Well... if she's giving me her phone number I guess that's okay. 2 STARS

BIG BIRD TODDLER COSTUME - $39.99
 

LIKENESS - See! SEE?! Now THIS is a costume! Adorable, acceptable, and well done. Some great Big Bird-like pants--even better with the orange sneakers--a fantastic Big Bird hat... now see, this is a costume I can support. I guess it just shows that Sesame Street costumes always work better on kids. Even the likeness of Big Bird is good enough that I can't really even complain! 4 STARS
FUN FACTOR - What kid doesn't want to be Big Bird for a day? Bonus points for parents who put their kids on stilts to make them as tall as Big Bird. Less bonus points if said parents end up with kids in the hospital on Halloween due to falling from stilts. 3 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - There is absolutely nothing scary about this costume. Wait... I take that back. It's scary to think that one day this little girl might wear the Sexy Big Bird costume. *shudder* 1 STAR

ABBY CADABBY DELUXE COSTUME - $44.99

LIKENESS - Everybody say it with me now... "Awww!!!" Alright, now that we have that out of our systems... How great is this costume? It even comes with Abby hair! This is adorable and I can't imagine any little girl not wanting to be Abby Cadabby for Halloween. They get to carry a wand, they get to have wings, they get to have awesome Abby hair, they get to turn things into pumpkins... Win! 5 STARS
FUN FACTOR - To quote Abby... "[This costume] is so magic!" Look at that! The girl in the picture is already having fun--and she's not even trick or treating yet (presumably)! If you can figure out a way to rig your little fairy-godchild on some sort of rope or other hanging object so that she could actually fly like Abby, more power to you! (Please don't do that.) 4 STARS
SCARE FACTOR - The only way for this Abby costume to be scary is if someone other than a little girl was wearing it. Yes, I'm looking at you Joe Hennes from ToughPigs! Don't get any ideas! 1 STAR

And with that, I bid you farewell until Part 2 of our Muppet costume spotlight. Next time we'll look at too-hideous-to-be-real Fraggle costumes. Trust me... you won't want to miss this. Look for it on Tuesday!

To see all of the Sesame Street costumes and merchandise available for Halloween this year, be sure to check out the online Sesame Street store!

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier