The Diary of an Obsessed (British) Muppet Fan, Part 2

Last known location of TBC

Dear Diary,
Have I ever mentioned how much I adore the way your binding curves so delicately? Well, if I have not, allow me to do so now. It is just so perfectly bindery. You are very welcome. What is that? Pardon me? Oh, well, thank you. I agree that my eyebrows are very rustic, and how very generous of you to comment on the cosmic form of my particularly British stiff upper lip.
 
For, yes, you have sussed it correctly, indeed, it is I, the British Correspondent, still holding hostage the Diary of one Ryan Doozer.

And speaking of Diaries, I am rather assuming that sooner or later we shall be reading some sort of "How I Met your Muppet" tell-all bio-backstage-diaries from our friend Jason Segel. (Seriously, am I the first one to use that joke? May I once again applaud my A-list comedic talent...)

Speaking of comedic talent, who knew that Zack and Cody could work that brilliant "pause-for-the-laugh-track-styled" comedic timing even when speaking in mock Swedish accents?

Well, clearly the marvelous producers over at The Muppets Studio had some inking of this fact when they invited the Muppets over to Studio DC to join a bunch of our favourite (?) Disney Channel mini-stars for an Almost Live double-bill television show available in the United Kingdom on Extended Edition DVD. Now, the fact this show hit Region 2 dvd first is just one reason I am proud to be British (breakfast of boiled eggs with dippy soldiers being another.)

I had some reservations with the original broadcast of this semi-live show in its condensed form where, in my opinion (and a lot of other people's opinions) it felt rushed, choppy and as if the Muppets’ presence was something of an after-thought to the all-star talent of the Disney children such as Miley Cyrus, Ashley Tisdale, Demi Lovato and also-appearing-in-The-Muppets-movie-quite-likely-on-the-phone Selena Gomez (not to mention those man-child Brothers Jonas and the ever a-peel-ing Wizards of Weaverly place guys... seriously... do not mention them).

However, when sitting down to the Extended Edition version of the show I was surprised to find I actually enjoyed watching DC’s usually too-cool-for-school young actors and singers getting a chance to ham it up for the cameras, to poke fun at themselves and pretty much throw cream pies! It was refreshing to see the Muppets again, regardless of the format, and it provided a great platform for our favourite performers to improvise and mess about onscreen (and below screen) without a giant big-budget movie rolling around them.

Plus, everyone buying the DVD also found themselves in possession of a special Backstage pass that brought us a Pepe-tastic All-Access Tour behind the scenes where the Muppets and Muppeteers truly had an opportunity to throw themselves fully into the crazy, funny, amusing antics of the Muppets off-screen.

So, if you find yourself living in a Region labeled with a giant “2” and alone in the DVD aisle of your local supermarket, be sure to pick up a copy of The Muppets Studio Presents Studio DC Almost Live Extended Edition on DVD now!

...hang on a minute...

How did I NOT see this diary entry morph into a DVD review...again. Subtle.

Well, diary, I am sorry to say, I shall be sending this page to Ryan later as proof that you are still alive...with a warning. Full Mindset Access... or your diary remains as Mine.

Love and kisses,
The British C.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier

The Diary of an Obsessed (British) Muppet Fan

Dear Diary,

TBC - No real picture available

I imagine you were wondering why it is that Ryan has not been spending much time with you lately...well, is it not obvious? I kidnapped the feature in order to attempt a subtle but effective blackmail take down of Ryan so that, finally, the blog would be completely mine mine MINE! But, as usual, I have been foiled by the unexpected openness of the American boy who insisted on A. Filling his diary with some sort of DVD reviews and B. Publishing these inserts publicly thus rendering any attempt to blackmail him with his diary useless.

But never mind that.

I am on to plan B and holding you, oh precious diary, ransom.

Which reminds me...(Cue flashback)...there is something else that I have been holding ransom for quite some time. It is a small book with a long title, available in hard-back from just $11.53 on Amazon.com containing interesting snippets, helpful pick-up lines and some dubious back-story as told by the Muppets own resident king prawn, Pepe.

The book, It’s Hard Out Here For A Shrimp: Life, Love and Living Large, has a flashy cover with a fancy image of Pepe immersed in water with a nice bright blue sky background. (And how DO they do that! I mean, he is a puppet, surely he cannot get wet? Gosh! Technology these days, I ask you.) The book contains witty advice on how to live your life the Pepe way and is a quick read that can easily be completed in one sitting (although this depends on your definition of one sitting since I keep one copy in my guest bathroom).


The book is divided into sections such as Love (“First love is the best, followed by second love, then third, then fourth, then... you get the idea, okay.”), Family (“I owe my family everything, with interest.”), Friends (“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer... and your girlfriend away from them both.”), and Monies (“If there was such a thing as easy money, I wouldn’t be writing this book.”). Each section then contains pithy witticisms in the style of a self-help guide, although in Pepe’s case it could be more of a "help yourself" guide. See? I made a witticism! And they say the British are not pithy...

I personally found the book funny enough to raise a smile on each page, but felt that it did not quite reach the point of laugh-out-loud humour; however, the book provides a valuable insight into Pepe’s mind and forms a great conversation starter after guests have used the convenience.

Wait a minute!

I see what is happening here. Somewhere along the way this diary entry morphed into a book review! I was only trying to tell you about the time I held the book ransom until my aforementioned guest washed their hands! Sheesh.

Anyway... I must message Ryan that I have his book and that if he does not wish to receive a torn out page in the post as proof then he better start handing me the keys to that blog of his.

Until next time.
-The British Correspondent

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier

The Diary of an Obsessed Muppet Fan - Rocky Mountain Holiday

The Diary of an Obsessed Muppet Fan - Entry 7, May 2, 2010

Dear Diary,
Is it bad that I'm too tired to come up with something rude to say to you? ...Don't give me that look! You don't know my life! You just automatically assume that I'm tired because I was out late fondling some sleezy journal? How dare you, madame? To think, after all of these months of me only dedicating my inner-most thoughts to you that you suddenly decide I'm unfaithful and just plain gross. How dare you.

Anyway, last night I watched John Denver and The Muppets: Rocky Mountain Holiday on--gasp!--VHS. Talk about taking a trip to the stone age, eh? The special has a very simple premise: John Denver invites the Muppets out to the Rocky Mountains for a camping trip. Easy enough, right? Wrong. The special becomes very confusing and diluted and loses any semblance of a plot as soon as they step out of the truck and start singing. Thankfully there's plenty of fun, Muppety mayhem throughout to buffer this.

The first confusing aspect of this special that I came across was the fact that I couldn't help but wonder... Is this a John Denver special or a Muppets special? Quite frankly, it doesn't work terribly well as either. What I think would have worked better is sending the Muppets out on a camping trip and they just happen to run into John Denver in the woods. Along with John Cleese, Phyllis Diller, and other stereotypical 1980's guest stars. Doesn't that sound like more fun than hiking with John Denver and singing around a campfire for twenty minutes?

Another annoying/confusing part of this special is that there is literally no plot. The only things that happen are the Muppets walking to the campsite, running into a jug-band (that we never see or hear from again), Fozzie gets beat up by nature, Floyd and John go fishing, Robin is too small, and then the rest of the special is spent singing around the campfire. Everything else that happens in the special takes place in flashbacks of other Rocky Mountain holidays they've taken--which makes no sense because as soon as they get to the campsite John says, "I've been wanting to bring you guys up to the Rockies for a long time now." Umm... since last summer, John?

I just don't understand why all of those flashbacks (e.g., Miss Piggy comin' 'round the mountain, Rowlf floating in an inner-tube down the river) couldn't have taken place on this particular Rocky Mountain holiday. They sure like a lot more fun than all of the stuff they're doing..

And then... there's the music. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy John Denver as much as the next guy, I just think it's a little much to have at least ten, maybe more, songs performed by him in the span of 45 minutes. Yes, the Muppets get to pop in and provide back-up harmony every once in awhile, but the overwhelming majority is just John sitting with a guitar on a stump singing about rocks or trees or something. Literally the entire last half of the special is spent around the campfire singing. It gets to a point where it's just overwhelmingly boring and I think it's why there's no real plot--they had to fit in too many songs!

Then at the end there's this weird thing with a giant, man-eating chicken... and then Robin goes to sleep and everyone else follows suit. That's basically Rocky Mountain Holiday in a nutshell: too much singing and a giant, man-eating chicken. In the end there's just too many songs and too little plot in this special. There are some fun Muppety moments (Fozzie's hands catching on fire, Robin trying to break John's neck by tying the clothesline too low, Floyd and John fishing, the version of "She'll Be Comin' 'Round the Mountain" where Miss Piggy is she who'll be comin' round) but far too much of this one-hour special is dedicated to John singing while the Muppets stare at him. Enjoyable for one or two songs, but for ten or twelve it's just painful.

Ah well, maybe there was just more to the camping trip we didn't get to see. Or... maybe not.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier

The Diary of an Obsessed Muppet Fan - The Great Muppet Caper

The Diary of an Obsessed Muppet Fan - Entry 6, April 25, 2010

Dear Diary,

Don't say a word. I am not in the mood to deal with your incessant nagging, diary. I had a long night with--my mother. Yes, she took me out... sewing.

Thankfully I recovered pretty well by watching The Great Muppet Caper. Yes, often regarded as the Muppets magnum opus, the film is probably the greatest example of the Muppets at their best. Granted, it isn't my personal favorite, but darn if I don't absolutely love every second of it. Jim Henson's directorial debut had everything a good Muppet movie, and a good movie in general, needs: comedy, suspense, intrigue, danger, romance, over the top drama, a snappy song and dance number (or two), and rat bellhops. What more could you honestly ask for?

One of my favorite aspects of this film is how we see Kermit step out into more of a leadership role. As I wrote in my entry on The Muppet Movie, we saw Kermit become a hero. Here in The Great Muppet Caper, we see him retain that role of hero, but also develop a strong leadership role.

In the first film, the Muppets needed Kermit to propel them to their dreams of stardom and making people happy, in this one, Kermit needs them to stop the jewel thieves, save the day, and win the girl. Animal eats through the bars, Rowlf saves them from ravenous dogs (I guess they don't like pep-per-oni), and Beaker sacrifices himself to disable the alarm system. See? Kermit needed them! (Sure, he could've just taken the back door like Nicky and the girls, but that a great Muppet caper does not make.)

Speaking of Nicky, I would indeed call him the most enjoyable Muppet villain so far. He was hilarious and just... odd, yet still a great villain in his own right. How can you not love a villain who orders a gross of flowered socks? Or who left his wallet in college? Or whose office door reads "Nicky Holiday: Irresponsible Parasite"? I love the way Nicky plays off of Lady Holiday and Miss Piggy. He's so goofy around Lady Holiday, and completely head-over-heels around Miss Piggy. I just love his over the top, "Forgive me Miss Piggy," line just before he frames her. Brilliant!

But my favorite aspect of The Great Muppet Caper is just that, the caper. When the whole gang is sitting on the Murphy bed checking supplies and then attempting to foil the heist on the Mallory Gallery... well if that just isn't the most Muppety moment ever, I don't know what is. I can't really write anything that would make these scenes better than they already are... so instead, enjoy some random quotes!

"I said, look mother, it's my life, o-kay? And if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked--" ~ Janice

"What color are their hands now?" ~ Beauregard

"I don't got no other pants!" ~ Zoot

"I got some hot mustard, maybe it'll eat through the bars." ~ Floyd

"Well we better do it quick, those dogs have almost finished the pizza!" ~ Scooter

"What color are their hands now?" ~ Beauregard

"I've got the paper towels!" ~ Lew Zealand

"Pitcher, you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn!" ~ Pops

"Popcorn, chicken?" ~ Scooter

"Pitcy-witchy, Beaker." ~ Bunsen

I think that's good enough. If that doesn't make you want to go back and watch this scene right this minute, I don't know what will! And really, isn't that the greatest part of The Great Muppet Caper? The fact that just quoting it can make you want to pop in your DVD and enjoy the film again is what makes this movie so much fun. Just try to watch the "Happiness Hotel" scene and not sing along or smile, or Kermit and Miss Piggy's duck pond exchange without laughing, or being in awe of Piggy's underwater ballet. All the way through, The Great Muppet Caper is awesome. Now I'll let you go so you can go watch it. Not you, diary. You need to make me dinner.

Sincerely and Insanely Yours,
Ryan Dosier

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier